Philippines Call Center Bloopers

Source:internet/email

Actual c0nversati0n from a technical  acc0unt in C-Cubed (Cust0mer C0ntact Center)

TSR: 0kay sir, Let's check if y0u wiLL be abLe t0 g0 0nLine n0w...

CUST: yes... (yes Lang ng yes kase et0ng HAPON na it0... )

TSR: type in www.yahoo.com

CUST: what? yahoo.cot?

TSR: n0 sir... yahoo.com...

CUST: yahoo.cot?

TSR: n0 sir... com... C-O-M

CUST: cot?

TSR: (asar na) .com sir!

CUST: aahhh... yahoo.cot.

----------------------------------

TSR: It's C as in CAT.

CUST: what?

TSR: C as in CAT. C-A-T... me0w me0w...

(ayuz! very specific na yan ha baka hindi m0 pa magets...)!

----------------------------------

CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how may I help you?

Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?

CS: No, sir, it's Candy...

Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?

CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!

(oohhh... now I get it!!!)

----------------------------------

CS: Was that a "B" as in boy or a "B" as in bravo?

Cust: Uhhmmm... how about "B" as in boy...

(good choice...)

----------------------------------

CS: Alright, let me verify that... Was that a "G" as in golf?

Cust (with a different accent): NO! That was a "G" as! in GEBRA! (z as in zebra)

Oh, Gebra!!! like the one in the Goo?!!!... Gusme... Gon't gou get git?)

----------------------------------

CS: Yeah, sir... sir... are you there?

Cust: Yes, yes, I'm there!

(siguro naglalaro sila ng Counter...)

----------------------------------

CS: Sir, do you have NET-ESCAPE there?

Cust: Huh?... Oh!!!.. No, I have MSN IN-NERNET EXPLODER here...

(... makes sense to me!!!)

----------------------------------

TS: Ok, sir... do u have a PEN and a PENCIL ready?

Cust: What?!!

TS: Oh, Im sorry, sir... Do u have a PEN and a BALLPEN ready?...

(klap! klap! klap!)

----------------------------------

ethernet cord connected???...

Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with alabama accent)

TS: Yung yellow cord, mheem...

(oh-oow ngee nehmeeennn..)

----------------------------------

CS: ...That's E as in I-KOW... (echo)

(oki lang yan, Dong...)

----------------------------------

CS: I w! as hoping you can take this survey with me... Would you have the time to do that, sir?

Contact: How long is this gonna to take?

CS: Mmm.. MGA three minutes....

(ay shyet!!!)

----------------------------------

CS: ...I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please???

Contact: He's not in. Would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?

CS: Sure, SIGE...

(ay shyet, ulet!!!)

----------------------------------

TS: Ok, sir... Could you please drag the icon UPSTAIRS?...

(... lemme try...)

----------------------------------

Cust (US): So how's the weather there?

CS: Well... it's kinda cloudy today, sir...

Cust: Oh really?!!!... So where are you located?

CS: Sir, your call has been re-routed in ORTIGAS!!!...

(... dats nir Mexico...)

---------------------------------

TS: Alright, we're going to perform a checkdisk... that is for us to see if your hard drive has errors in it.please type in C-H-K-D-S-K...

Cust: What is that again?

TS: C-H-K-D-S-K... that is... C as in Charlie... H as in Harley... K as in Karly... D as in Darley... S as in Sarley... and K as in Karly...

(gleng-gleng... bagong version...)
----------------------------------------
Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm Not going to do that!"